we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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