Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We left the knife in your bed.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It's shark week go big or go home
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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