I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize