He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
