Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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