do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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