her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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