Yo dont text me then not text me
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
