Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
