You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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