break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
