New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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