Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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