i may or may not be watching the land before time
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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