i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
