32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
