ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize