Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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