Grow some girl-balls and come out already
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
