Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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