Me too!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
