Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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