Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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