I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
