What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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