Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
