My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
