Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize