Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
