fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
