Small penises have feelings too.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
