You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
