I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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