let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
