youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
