Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
