sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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