All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
