next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
