I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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