omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
