i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
