when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I don't deserve a penis
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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