You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
