Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize