No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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