I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
