I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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