He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
