Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize