please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
A+ Viking dick
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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