In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
