I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
