We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
