she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
