we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
