OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
