tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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