Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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