he puts the penis in happiness.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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