do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
