Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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