My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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