S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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