worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Randomize
