O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
