That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
How does it feel to date your dad?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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