I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I have post one night stand depression
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize