Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
