She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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