i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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