Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
