he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
