ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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