we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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